What People Say When You Tell Them Your Troubles

©CC "Boredom" courtesy of Rob Oo

Do you need to tell somebody your troubles? Chances are enormous that -- whomever you choose --he or she will respond like one of the following six people.*

1. The Shover ... explains that “everything happens for a reason” or, “It’s darkest before dawn.”

2. The Comparer … Nods while “listening,” as if your pain confirms something she already knows.

3. The Fixer … Is certain your situation is a question directed to her ... and she knows the answer.

4. The Reporter … Is so curious about the details of your “shattering;" her eyes glint and flash as she peppers you with questions.

5. The Victim … Has heard your news second-hand and needs consoling because she is “hurt” you didn't call to tell her personally (or first).

6. The God Rep … Believes she knows what God wants for you, and “feels led” by God to “share.”

The seventh person is my favorite. She is stranger... a stranger, maybe …with nothing to prove and no wisdom to impart, kind of like your psychotherapist, only with genuine feeling.

7. The Expressionist … Keeps saying, "Holy Moly … Holy S*** … Oh My Gosh … Really?! … Egads! … Ouch! Why? … I'm so sorry." Because, really, what else can she say?


*Acknowledgement and gratitude: The first six people identified come to us via the wisdom of Glennon Doyle Melton, who describes them in her book, the Love Warrior.